In the beginning...

well here we go. I can't guarantee that I will write often, but I will write honestly and hopefully with lots of sarcasm, satire and humor. I thought about doing the whole "ee cummings thing" where I don't use any punctuation or capitalize proper nouns, but I only read a few of his writings and I honestly think if you must use a "gimmick" to get people to read your stuff, your stuff must suck. Just kidding.

my first post will start where every great blog story should start...an intimate interview with A-Rod. Here are some excerpts from a candid interview I did with him this morning (ok, not really, but it will be funny...I promise).

TC=The Count
AR=Alex Rodriguez

TC- Welcome Alex, thanks so much for doing this interview with me.
AR- No problem. After all, I am just laying around with this hurt hip anyway.

TC-So we have been pretty busy this past offseason...huh? I mean, you got divorced, you got paid, you got Madonna'd, you got outed (sp??) and then you paid to get...well you know.
AR-Yup, it has been pretty busy. All of that and now I am "laid up" with this hurt hip. What are the chances of me signing a contract that will pay me $1 trillion and then I can't play...I mean what are the odds of that?

TC-I am not sure of the exact odds, but I think Randall Cunningham and Herschel Walker might be able to tell us.
AR-Who are they? Did they play baseball too?
TC-No Alex, they played Cricket.
AR-Oh, is that a board game?
TC-Yup, you play it the same way you do checkers...except you are outside.

TC-So your latest alleged incident involves you hooking up with a hooker...
AR-Yup
TC-So you just thought she would keep this to herself?
AR-The ad in the paper said "discrete meetings"
TC-So it has come to this huh...now the highest paid athlete in the world is paying for sex?
AR-Don't all men "pay" for sex in one way or another
TC-Well played AR.

TC-Well I would ask about performance enhancing drugs...but honestly, I just don't care.
AR-Well, I have a cousin who is a whiz with that stuff if you ever need anything.
TC-Yeah, I heard


Well, I know this first post was a bit on the weird side, but just like fine wine...it will get better with time.

Enjoy this guy from one of my favorite videos...